Recent "Emma-isms"

I realized that my kid has been spouting off with some pretty funny stuff lately and that I have only been documenting them on facebook, rather than somewhere more permanent. So I went back and found some winners from the past few months....

01/11/12 - just overheard a conversation between Emma (4yo) and her cousin Mikayla (12)...
E: "can I have some of what you are having?"
M: "sure, if it's okay with your mom."
E: "it's always okay with my mom... As long as I don't ask."
Lol. This logic skills this kid has in preschool makes me very worried about raising her as a teenager!

01/23/12 - "Toddlers & Tiaras" just came on and Emma said, "Yay! The little brats show! Can we watch them their their fits again?" Lol. If my 4 year old can recognize that these kids are out of control, then why can't their parents???

01/31/12 - Whilst in downtown San Bernardino today with Emma...
E: Ewwww! It stinks!
Me: Yes...
E: What is that smell?! (said as we passed some "questionable" individuals)
Me: I dont know Emma. it's just a smell.
E: Well... Maybe a little bunny rabbit hopped over here into this area... And FARTED.
Me: Yes Emma. I'm sure thats EXACTLY what the smell is! Lol

01/31/12 - So Emma asked me (AGAIN) today to tell her HOW a baby gets out of the Mommy's tummy. I figured if she it's asking again, I better answer. So first we had a conversation about baby names for body parts vs. real names... "piggies vs. toes" for example, and so on. I finished up with, "So, when the Mommy's body is ready and the baby is big enough, it comes out through her vagina."
... Dead freaking silence from the back seat...
E: are you kidding me?? (in a somewhat quiet tone of awe)
Me:, no, I'm serious. A grown up lady's body is made for that to work.
... More silence....
E: Ewwwww! OH... MY...GOSH...MOM!!! That's SOOO disgusting!!! ..... (little giggle).... I'm TOTALLY going to tell TJ about this stuff when we get home!!

02/13/12 - ME: We are going to the grocery store today, Emma. Any suggestions for dinner ideas?
E: What are "suggestions?"
ME: Ideas... things you like to eat that we could cook this week.
E: Ohhh.... Well, I like.... Big butts and I cannot lie! (with lots of giggles and booty shaking)
*sigh* Really? Thank you, Sharktale movie!!!

03/02/12 - Emma (running excitedly into room): "Mommy! Mommy! They said that Barbie will be coming to a new DVD in 2006!!!"
Me: "Ummm... Emma? You're watching an old DVD. We are already in 2012."
Emma: *sigh* "I KNOW that Mom! They are talking about the NEXT 2006!!"

03/11/12 - Discussing "Horton, hears a Who" with Emma...
Me: "A person's a person no matter how small."
E: just like I'm a person, right Mom?"
Me: "Absolutely"
E: "Even though I'm small, huh?"
Me: "Yep. And it doesn't matter how small you are. You are still just as important as anyone else, even if they are big."
E: "Yeah... And plus I'm cute too, so that's good!"
Lol.

03/16/12 - I woke Emma up this morning and she looked at me with this pathetic little face & asked, "Mommy, can you take me to the doctor today?" I'm thinking, "crap. Of COURSE you are feeling sick now, as we are about to go off on spring break!" :-\ But I said, "okay, Emma... what's wrong?" She smirked & exclaimed "I need to ask the doctor for a new butt because this one has a crack in it! Ahahaha!" And ran down the hall giggling. *sigh* Too early for preschool pretty humor...

03/26/12 - Emma just sighed and told me "I need a big drink but my mouth is just short! That's why I keep being thirsty!"

04/05/12, #1 - was listening to Lady Gaga this morning with Emma on the way to school ...
E: Mom, what is a "paper gangsta?"
Me: Someone who is fake. They think they are cool, but they aren't... The crumple up like a piece off paper when things are stressful.
E: I think I'm cool... *long pause*... Oh...my...goodness... What if I'm NOT really cool though, Mom?! What if...
Me: *sigh*... Emma, calm down. You aren't a paper gangsta.
E: oh good. Cuz it's not good to be a paper gangsta. No one WANTS to be a paper gangsta with flavor but no follow through.

04/05/12, #2 - My kid is on a role today...
I was putting her to bed and, as she was telling me a (seemingly endless) story, I finished her sentence for her. She looked at me, smiled, wagged her little finger back & forth between us, and said, "yep. That's because you and me, we got a psychic connection Mommy!" Lol. Where does she get this stuff?!?